I like to bob

Learning to understand the unspoken rules of etiquette and non-verbal communication in Kolkata has been one of the most rewarding things I have experienced so far. When I arrived in the beginning of August, I had a very limited idea of what the cultural differences between West Bengal and Wisconsin. Here is one example of public rules/etiquette that I’ve learned.
One day I was taking the metro with Alix, my female roommate (the sex is important here). We bought our 6 rupee tickets (~12 cents), walked underground and successfully got onto the train we wanted to get on. As soon as we got on, we saw some seats open and we enthusiastically sat down because seats are rarely available. About a minute later, Alix nudged me and said “get up”. I looked at her in confusion; and in response she widened her eyes and tilted her head slightly with a look of “dude”. I looked around me and only then did I realize that everyone else sitting in the chairs was either a women or a child, and the men on the train were standing near the doors, looking my way. Oops... I’m not sure if this is a Kolkata policy or a metro policy in general, but as I stood up sheepishly I saw a sign that explicitly read “women’s side”, ehhh. It was embarrassing at the time, but now I’ve learned my lesson now and will not embarrass myself again…on the metro…in the same way…I’m sure.
An example of non-verbal communication is the famous/infamous head bob. Depending on how this sideways bob is done, it could mean anything from a disinterested agreement to a pleasant acknowledgment. I really think it is the perfect gesture that would make communication in the states a heck of a lot loss awkward at times. Imagine these situations. See somebody and make eye contact? Head bob. Somebody asks you a question? Head bob. This head bob could be huge. It was hard for me to interpret this signal at first, but now I know to look at the context of the convo and have even started using it myself. Cultural understanding…success.
To me, one of the hardest parts about studying abroad so far has been the communication barrier leading to a feeling of a lack of belonging. Academic folk have theorized (and proven?) that the feeling of being part of a group is a very strong human desire. I am It’s just that extra complication to communication that can be difficult to making connections with strangers in society here. That’s why, when I am walking down the street and I make eye contact with someone or I buy an egg wrap and the man hands me my food, I give the head nod with a smile. And if they nod back, well, that gives me a small connection with someone. And goll darn it that makes me feel good.
So when I come back home and we are talking and you ask me how was India? You know what might sum up the trip well? You guessed it, head bob.

Pictures

The Necessary (Caring and Knowing) Stick

And his name was Heide (Hee-day). Some of the adjectives I would use to describe Heide are, efficient, bustling, quick, helpful, and controlling. He is a teacher and an enforcer. Heide is a five foot three inch (roughly), thin, Japanese man who has been volunteering at Mother Teresa’s Home for the Destitute and the Dying for the past five years. The first day I volunteered, Heide showed me around and showed me how things were done. The second day I volunteered, he took me out for a quick tea break. We talked about our lives briefly and I felt like I had been accepted into the “crew” because I was making a long-term commitment in relation to some other volunteers. (Three months). I remember coming home in high spirits that day because I felt like I had been accepted into the inner circle of volunteers. I was part of Ocean’s Eleven. I was no ordinary solider; I was a Joe (haven’t seen the movie yet, heard it sucked). Oh how things change.

Since that day, not a day goes by that this intense man has not scolded me for something or another. In response to this, I’ve decided I’m going to make it a game to see if I can go a whole day without admonishment from this tiny titan. To give you an idea of our conversations, here is a typical exchange between Heide and I.

Heide (in accented English): Dan! Dan…(disappointment in his voice but not in his face) No no no no no no. Like this (takes plates I’m washing and shows me his was). You no think Dan.

Me: (Watching what he’s doing) All right Heide. I’ll do that from now on.

Heide: You don’t think Dan. You’re a smart guy, but you don’t think.

Me: (Light-heartedly defending my honor) That’s not true Heide. I haven’t done this much. You’ve been here five years, I’ll do it that way from now on.

Heide: No no no no no. Ahhh (disappointing exhale and bustles away to find the next victim).

It’s not just me that Heide has turned his attention to, no one escapes his omnipotent gaze. Even the nuns and workers are fair game to Heide’s corrections. That said, I think Heide makes Mother T’s work. To quote a Daft Punk song, he’s making us work “harder, better, faster, stronger.” He reminds me of the sports coach that unifies and improves the team, knowingly playing the role of the “mean guy”. Heide’s not mean, but he is not afraid to call you out. I have a lot of respect for someone who can fulfill that role.
I have done some reading on non-profits and one thing that many NPOs have in common are their use of volunteers. Volunteers can sometimes make up a large part of the NPO’s workforce and therefore can be very important to the organization. A challenge of working with a volunteer is that the volunteer cannot be punished, as in the nature of the world “volunteer”. Having efficient volunteers is something that every NPO is interested in. Heide can shout and scold because he too is a volunteer. Every NPO would love to have a volunteer like him.
So tomorrow I’m going to go into work, and I’m going to see if I can work the whole time without Heide’s “Dan, no no no no no” ringing in my ears. But I know that if I do mess up, Heide will tell me. And you know what? As much as I may feel like soaking that small Japanese man with the rest of the laundry I’m doing at that moment, I’m going to be a better volunteer for it.

The Service Portion of the Show

Since my program is a service-learning program and I spend about one-third of my time doing service, I think it is about time that I give a little description of what my service has been like so far. Little background, I work at Kalighat, which Mother Teresa's Home for the Destitute and the Dying. I work Monday thru Wednesday, off on Thursday, work Friday and Saturday and then have off again on Sunday.

7:30 a.m. -out the door, walking to Kalighat.

8:00 a.m. -Arrive at service. Morning prayer's and songs.

8:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. -Breakfast and laundry. Handing out plates of food, help feed some patients, getting water (pani in Hindi, jhol in Bengali), cleaning dishes and doing laundry with other volunteers.

9:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.-Hand out medicine, help patients go to the bathroom, visit, lay out laundry to dry.

10:30 a.m. to 11:00 a.m.-Tea time. Most people take a break and have some potato dish, protein crackers, tea, and water.

11:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.- Hand out lunch to patients. Usually rice with a side that gets mixed together by patients to eat. Clean dishes again.

11:30 a.m. -Done for the day. Out walking home and back by noon.

Service has been both good and bad so far. Some days are better than others. I'm surprised sometimes by the intensity of our menial labor, I think I am finally having a restaurant work experience (in a way) and I get pretty tired. I do feel like I am making a difference which I think is important for keeping me motivated.

One thing that is challenging is the language barrier. I am taking classes in Bengali but is far from where I would like it to be. It's tough when a patient talks to you, and you can't understand whether they want water or to go to the bathroom. But I am learning, for example. Tomaar naam ki? means What is your name? Boom, communication established which I think is important to show with the patients language is the problem, not that I don't care.

The international demographics of the volunteers at Mother Teresa's is something I did not expect, though I thoroughly enjoy. I am meeting people from all over the world and I am using more Spanish than I ever thought I would. Que bueno.

Yesterday was Mother Teresa's birthday, so we had a quick mass at work and the nuns clapped and sang happy birthday. I was caught off-guard by the service, but it was a nice experience. The homily was very much of a praise of Mother T and asking everyone to be mindful of her general awesomeness and how she can inspire and work through us all. The wine was good.

I would love to write about all of the people I've met and worked with so far, but I think that could be quite a hefty post in and of itself.

Alfred Hitchcock's Inspiration

Why hello all, I am writing on my laptop in my small, shared room, fan on high, Indian soap opera on in the background, and crows mean-mugging me from my barred window. These birds are something else.

Let me just say that I was never a big fan of crows to begin with. Their scavenger ways coupled with a seemingly devious intelligence always spooked me just a bit. About sixteen million people packed into Kolkata with plenty of trash available was kind of like a bulls eye for these birds so the city is packed full of crows, pidgins, and cridgins all looking to eat and poop everywhere. (Out of the four students living in my apartment, three of the four have gotten hit, including yours truly). For example, the other day I went onto the roof of our apartment around five pm to take a picture of the sky after a thunderstorm had just passed through. I opened the door, and was surrounded by crows on ledges, rooftops, weathervanes, you name it, and there were crows sitting there. So I stepped outside the door and the birds started squawking and flying about like they had to fall back to the trenches from the new threat and I snapped a picture and bid a hasty retreat, because I’m not afraid to say that I nervous like Harry putting on that Sorting Hat for the first time. Crows I can do without.

Despite those crafty crows, I love India so far. I’m becoming accustomed to the traffic (which is the biggest threat to visitor’s my Lonely Planet bible tells me); exploring the metro, trying food and desserts, studying the language and other exciting study abroad experiential things. Shit, you know, like a real liberal artsy education or something.

First day of service was today and now I have class, so I’m going to run. So in light of the amount of Spanish I used today in the “real world”, which is the most I’ve ever used outside of class due to the international background of Mother Teresa’s organizations, Hasta Luego.

August 9th, 2009

India! I arrived at my home stay family’s home and my home for 145 days at 11:30 a.m. on Aug. 3^rd after the longest travelling time of my life. Glad to be done with the trip, but a new friend and good books about food like the Botany of Desire by Michael Pollen and The Gospel of Food by Barry Glassner.

I am living in one of two flats with three other IPSL students, an eighty plus nanny, and Rekha, an India student that also boards with us. Mo lives in the other flat with Aunti, who is her son Indi’s nanny. Indi is twenty years old, but it seems that once a nanny is with a family, they can become part of the family. Fact: Aunti and Unka are affectionate names used for men and women. Indi has just left though with his friend Adam that was visiting to go to Japan, but we may bump into each other again in October if he comes back home to visit. Living with me is my roommate Josh, a twenty year old from St. Louis, Mo going to school at Elmhurst College in Chicago who happens to be the only other boy on the program out of the twelve students. Considering that most of us IPSL kids have roommates, I was putting the pieces together and anticipated that we would be living together. Yep, I’m thinking Mr. Holmes will be asking me for help any day now. Alix is one of three IPSL kids that goes to school in Kalamazoo, MI. Quite a few Kalamazoo students come every year it seems, and they stay later than the rest of us because of their trimester schedule. Alix lives with Rekha and lives in our flat. The other student that lives with Mo is Jenny. Jenny is unfortunately only with us for a short three week period before she goes back to school in California, her home state. So that’s the India family: Josh, Alix, Jenny, Rekha, Mo, Aunti, Cook-man (I’ll remember the name soon), Nanny, and the cheese head (yours truly).

As far as the service aspect of the show, which is a large part of my service-learning study abroad program, there has been slow progress. We have been visiting all of the potential sites and trying to register with Mother Teresa’s NPO, which feels like a stereotypical visit to the local DMV. Yeah bureaucracy and nuns! I’ll keep y’all posted on the service developments, but for now I am just going with the flow and keeping my feathers straight.

School. Maybe one of the least popular words in the English language for a student to hear that is studying abroad. Yes, school is a part of my study abroad and on that note; we have had a few meetings and one lecture. I already can tell from our one wandering lecture and from talking with friends that the style of schooling will be a little different than at home. I’ll reserve any feelings until I have more than one class (haha). Anyhow, I’m excited to learn about India as much as I can so I say, bring it on!

The weather is in the ninety’s most days and humid. To give you more descriptive example, I step out of the apartment’s gate onto the pathway in the morning. I walk for five minutes and I’m sweating. Yep, five minutes into the day and I’m wiping down. Good thing too, because if you are not sweating then you my friend, are most likely dehydrated. Yikes. But don’t worry everyone; my pee is a pale yellow.

And with that tidbit, I will now return to my life in India. I’ll try to keep this updated as much as possible over these next five months (Aug. 3^rd-December 20^th), but with school and service starting soon we will see how much energy I can muster to type these out. And please feel free to comment, email me at obriend07@gmail.com, or Facebook. And I will try to post some photos as well. Finally, I think I will end each post with a new Bengali word that I’ve learned. This time, the word of the post is…alu. Alu means potato, one of my favorite dishes here that we have for meals. Prepared with a sauce that is yet TBD, it is a solid staple catering to my Irish roots. Done.